You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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