How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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