do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need Xanax blowdarts
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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