you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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