What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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