Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
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