And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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