I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
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