I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
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I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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