ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Even the bartender felt bad for me
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
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i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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