Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize