I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
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