So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
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Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
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Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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