Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize