I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize