I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We talked him into tasing himself.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Dicks are not precious.
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