rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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