I wish I only lived at night.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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