I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize