Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize