see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize