yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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