the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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