have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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