i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize