In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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