I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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