I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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