What did we do last night that was yellow?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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