Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
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im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
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Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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