it wasn't lemon gatorade
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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