Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize