Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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