First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
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Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
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I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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