Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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