Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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