Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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