Your tits are I can't wait for
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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