Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
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He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
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I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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