"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize