You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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