im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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