I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Sext me about skeletons
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize