The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize