today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize