And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize