only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize