He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize