me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize