so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
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he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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